Logan Echolls

ObligatoryPsychoticJackass

(fun, fun, fun)

  1. Logan: How did you know about my trip?
    Veronica: Parker mentioned it.
    Logan: Did my fanclub meet today? I thought you guys only met on wednesdays?
  2. Mac: And his role in this enterprise?
    Dick: Consultant. I'm an ass expert.
    Logan: Yes, except for the expert part.
  3. Logan: Mars!
    Veronica: We're on a last name basis now? We've skipped right over androgynous nicknames.
    Logan: I tried calling you "Chuckles", but it didn't stick.
  4. Veronica: No jokes. No innuendos, no quips. Don't even think of alluding to having seen me naked or having touched any part of my body that does not have fingers.
    Logan: Can I mention that my eyes adored you? I got it. No calling you Bobcat, no talk of milky thighs.
  5. You know, your dad was half right. You have a thing for bad boys, but you don't want to reform them. You just get off on judging them.
  6. [To Veronica] I really shouldn't have pushed for the Clint Eastwood marathon. Now I've ruined you. I didn't think it was possible to make you more butch. Stupid, stupid Logan. Well, wanna feel like a man, walk me to class?
  7. Veronica: Remind me: why did we break up?
    Logan: Well, you thought the other guy had greener grass. Or was it something about me being too much man? No, wait. It was you - you were too much man.
  8. Logan: So, you want me to come over after school?
    Hannah: The words out of your mouth are, "come over," but all I hear you saying is, "Let's have sex."
    Logan: Excuse me? All I heard you say was, "Let's have sex."
  9. Look, Veronica, can you just once save my ass without comment?
  10. Veronica: Maybe we should just keep it to ourselves for awhile and see what happens.
    Logan: Meet in mop closets? Pass each other secret notes in the hallway? [pauses] Come on, I'll drive you home on the back streets.
  11. I loved Lilly. And Lilly loved guys.
  12. I've been meaning to ask you something. Did your super-sleuth kit come with a decoder ring? Do you have a pen that writes with invisible ink? Never mind, don't care. Mush! Mush!
  13. Veronica: I just want to get to a place with you where we can be really... intimate.
    Logan: That's what the female praying mantis says before she bites the male's head off.
  14. Veronica: Great job, Dick. I'm sure you won that debate.
    Logan: Well, he's a master debater.
  15. Keith: Hey! You might want to stop yelling at my daughter.
    Logan: Yeah? You might want to start.
  16. Veronica Mars! Saving the world one pointless act at a time.
  17. I always wanted a TV movie version of my life. Hey, you think they could get Tom Welling to play me?
  18. Van Clemmons: Mr. Echolls, I was wondering if I could have a word?
    Logan: Anthropomorphic. All yours, big guy.
  19. I am beyond tardy for my Physics class. And if I remember right, time travel is not yet possible.
  20. Gia: The demolition ceremony's gonna be fun. Are you nervous? What if you push the plunger and nothing happens?
    Logan: You mean, like, if there were total silence? Let's try to imagine it.
  21. Logan: Bessy, when the milk stops being free, I stop drinking it.
    Kendall: Then, what am I supposed to do?
    Logan: Frankly my dear... you know the rest.
  22. Veronica: I'm a little punchy. I haven't been sleeping.
    Logan: Thoughts of me? Hey, I get it. Sometimes I'm up all night, just thinkin' about myself.
  23. Logan: As a rule, I like to start every school day with a hot blonde waiting for me in the parking lot.
    Veronica: Me too!
    Logan: I'm not blonde...
    Veronica: Or hot.
  24. I can't take that I hurt you when all I want to do is protect you.
  25. Mexican dude, driving a truck. Oh, his truck had a bumper sticker. It said, "How's my driving? Call 1-800-EAT something".
  26. Veronica Marsâ€Â¦ no, Veronica. V as in virgin.
  27. My Daddy took my T-Bird away. And you know what I won't be having. Fun, fun, fun.
  28. I don't know. Maybe it's like Brigadoon. Come back in a hundred years and it'll be right back in this spot.
  29. What, are we breaking up now? Do you want your best friend charm back?
  30. Best thing about two days in jail? Two days worth of Ellen on the TiVo. That sweet feeling.
  31. If I donate to the United Latino Pain-in-the-ass fund will you shut the hell up?
  32. Hey, Ronnie. Hey, we've decided that we'd rather surf than study today. You wanna come with? Duncan will promise to take his shirt off. Does that sweeten the pot? Does that make you horny? Hey, D.K., flex for your ex.
  33. Ask not what Logan can do for you but what you can do for Logan.
  34. Are we here to surf or swap hairdo secrets?
  35. I don't know, I think we have a choice. And I think we can take a tough but survivable amount of pain now. Or stay together and deal with unbearable pain later. So, I vote for the pain now. But I'm always here if you need anything...but you never need anything.
  36. [to Veronica] I'm not gonna see you for a whole week. That's like a month.
  37. Oh wow, I'm stunned. You like me! You really like me! Well first, I'd just like to say the other, uh, nominees are all such wonderfully gifted criminals. And I wanna thank my agent and my publicist for always shooting me from the left side.
  38. Gee willikers, Veronica, it sounds like you're on to something. Maybe the pool boy did it.
  39. FYI, if the cuddling is the best part, he didn't do it right.
  40. Come on, everybody, wang chung tonight! What? Everybody, wang chung tonight! Wang chung or I'll kick your ass!
  41. Ho, ho, [looks at Veronica] ho.
  42. Haha, nice car. God, it must've been a huge cereal box.
  43. Tu casa es mi casa.
  44. Get out of my house. You have a problem with Veronica, you leave. Actually, you have a problem with Veronica, you're pretty much dead to me, so just, like, evaporate or something, I dunno. That's kind of a general invitation. If you don't like my girlfriend, then... just start heading towards the rectangle with the knob.
  45. But if you're coming home, who will play Dead Hooker #2 on CSI this week?
  46. My day is complete. Veronica Mars has accused me of evil.
  47. Never underestimate the size of my cojones.
  48. Logan: I thought our story was epic, you know, you and me.
    Veronica: Epic how?
    Logan: Spanning years and continents. Lives ruined, bloodshed. EPIC.
    Veronica: Come on. Ruined lives? Bloodshed? You really think a relationship should be that hard?
    Logan: No one writes songs about the ones that come easy.
  49. She was blonde, petite. Smelled of marshmallows and promises.
  50. Annoy, tiny blonde one. Annoy like the wind
  51. Help me Mars Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope.